There’s a fire that ignites from within whenever I wear a suit, some kicks, a midriff turtleneck showing my pudge of a midsection, and a pixie cut with $5 shades……its a different type of sexy, powerful, El Hefe type of aura, its liberating. You’re on another wavelength when you can rock a suit with sneakers. Modish GQ men do it all the time, but women in a suit bring a different type of flair, can you agree? No?
I just wish suits for plus size women would come in other colors besides earth tones. Some of us are dumb tall, why are the jackets so Ariana-Grande-short? Why? We have torsos, fupas, and buddha bellies that we’re trying to cover man! Can I sista please get a suit out of the women’s section and not the mens? I digress…..one of many written tangents to come.
|| Unc’s Easter Suit
Not sure if I’m the only one who does dumpster-diving into the men’s section at the local thrift store, hoping I run into the most gawd-awful, throwback throw-up of a suit that I can treasure and call my own. I love Uncle Daddy suits, you know the kind….they’re the suits your Uncle Darell and Uncle Boobie only wore for Easter Sunday, New Year’s Eve, and Anniversary parties. They tend to be too long, too loud, too ugly, just too….geechy…tacky….whatever you call them….those suits my friend are true gems when it comes to creating a one-of-kind look……that nobody NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would have.
”WE HAVE LONGER TORSOS, FUPAS, AND buddha bellies that we’re trying to cover man!”
|| About Location: Infusion Tea
Orlando is home to most un-advertised hidden gems, known to man. You have to know someone to know someone to find out about the quaintest hip places. Yeah sure, you can always grab a local OrlandoWeekly to keep abreast on the latest coffee shop hangouts and new age shenanigans but in all reality, you just have to get off social media and go outside.
My city beautiful is so much more than rose gold Minnie/Mickey ears and Uber drivers fighting for convention center Microsoft event attendees. Orlando has really blossomed into becoming a creative hub for du jour hipsters and young professionals. The exquisitely designed architectural buildings downtown to minimalistic interior loft apartments that have been sprinkled throughout the city, makes me feel like… a little bit of upper Manhattan has somehow found its way down to extragalactic nebula that is Disney city. Not to the mention the amount of good food for the soul and bubble tea shops that Orlando has to offer.
”You have to know someone to know someone to find out about the quaintest hip places.”
How can you stay in the house all the time my fellow millennial? According to statistics and The Washington Post, “over 60% of millennials purposely avoid venturing out into the world”. There’s so much to see and do in Orlando that will enrich our pants size and muscle memory. Now listen here…… that doesn’t mean stop reading my love-hate relationships on mass-produced clothing and the lack of proper hip-to-bum ratio measurements for the average woman’s body…….by all means…… stop by frequently to read my mindless dribble as I go on my journey of loving the body I’m in, despite what major fashion labels think about a demographic that they’re not catering to and have left billions of dollars on the table.